Year One

This is the year....

• Mulder and Scully meet and become partners. (Pilot)
• Scully strips for Mulder and shows him her derrierre. (Pilot)
• Scully catches Mulder in the act of kissing an old girlfriend, and acts just a bit jealous. (Fire)
• Scully's father dies and pays Scully a quick visit before heading into the light. (Beyond the Sea)
• Scully is abducted (for the first time) by a criminal inhabiting her former boyfriend's body. (Lazarus)
• The Lone Gunmen make their first appearance. Frohike calls Scully "hot." (E.B.E.)
• Mulder lies to Scully about not letting anyone call him "Fox." (Tooms)
• Mulder is abducted and Scully steals an alien embryo to swap for him. (The Erlenmeyer Flask)
• Mulder's informant, "Deep Throat," is killed swapping the alien embryo for Mulder. (The Erlenmeyer Flask)
• The X-Files are closed and Mulder and Scully are split up. (The Erlenmeyer Flask)

Year Two

This is the year....

• Mulder skips off to the South American jungle in search of aliens and Scully runs to his rescue. (Little Green Men)
• Alex Krycek makes his first appearance. (Sleepless)
• Gillian Anderson is pregnant.
• Scully is abducted again, this time by aliens so Gillian Anderson can have some time off to have her baby. (Ascension)
• The X-Files are reopened. (Ascension)
• Mulder has sex for the only time during the show's run until possibly Year Seven. (3)
• Melissa Scully makes her first appearance. (One Breath)
• Scully is returned by the aliens and almost dies after her family removes her life support. (One Breath)
• We learn Skinner is a former Marine who was mortally wounded in Vietnam, had an out-of-body experience, and lived to tell about it. (One Breath)
• Scully is abducted again, this time by Donnie Pfaster, death fetishist and evil incarnate. (Irresistible)
• We're tossed the first of many such red herrings, when we meet an adult woman who claims to be Samantha Mulder. (Colony)
• Scully is abducted again, this time by the alien bounty hunter, and Mulder swaps his "sister" for her. (End Game)
• Scully gets bossy in a hospital and saves Mulder's life after his trip to the arctic. (End Game)
• Scully is abducted again, this time by a bunch of canibals, and is almost beheaded and made part of the town stew. (Our Town)
• Mulder is drugged and slugs Skinner in the hallway of the Hoover Building. (Anasazi)
• Mulder's father is murdered. (Anasazi)
• Scully shoots Mulder and then drives him cross country to nurse him back to health so Cancerman can burn him alive in a buried box car. (Anasazi)

Year Three

This is the year....

• Scully is suspended from the FBI and Mulder is thought to be dead. (Blessing Way)
• Scully discovers the implant in her neck and has it removed. (Blessing Way)
• Scully pulls a gun on Skinner. Skinner pulls a gun on Scully, Mulder pulls a gun on Skinner. It's a Mexican standoff! (Blessing Way)
• Krycek and Luis Cardinale murder Scully's sister, Melissa, by accident. They meant to murder Scully, of course. (Blessing Way)
• Skinner tells Cancerman to "pucker up and kiss my ass." (Paper Clip)
• William B. Davis (Cancerman) proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he can't act. (Paper Clip)
• Clyde Bruckman tells Scully she is never going to die. (Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose)
• Scully adopts a dog. (Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose)
• Scully smokes a cigarette. (Syzygy)
• They name an episode after Gillian Anderson's daughter. (Piper Maru)
• Skinner is shot by the same guy who murdered Scully's sister. (Apocrypha)
• Mulder nearly shoots Scully while playing Russian Roulette with Robert Modell. (Pusher)
• We learn Skinner has been married all this time, he has sex with a prostitute, and maybe murders her in his sleep because of a sleep disorder he has, and his wife dies, maybe. (Avatar)
• Scully's dog, Queequeg, is eaten by an aligator. (Quagmire)
• Mulder is almost eaten by the same aligator. (Quagmire)
• Scully is brainwashed and nearly kills Mulder. Her mother steps in front of him and probably saves his life. (Wetwired)

Year Four

This is the year....

• Mulder's mother has a stroke. (Herrenvolk)
• Mulder and Scully exchange genetic information. Unfortunately, they don't know yet that Scully's barren and won't be pumping out any uberMulderScullies (well, maybe!) (Home)
• Scully is abducted again and nearly lobotomized. (Unruhe)
• Mulder makes a fool of himself over reincarnation. (The Field Where I Died)
• Scully goes to jail for contempt-of-Congress. (Terma)
• Mulder is exposed to "the black cancer." (Terma)
• Krycek's left arm is amputated. (Terma)
• Scully learns she has cancer. (Leonard Betts, Memento Mori)
• Scully has an identity crisis and might have sex for the only time in the series (possibly excluding Year Seven). (Never Again)
• Scully gets a tattoo! (Never Again)
• Scully tells Mulder she has cancer, but doesn't tell her mother! (Memento Mori)
• Mulder discovers that all of Scully's ova were stolen from her when she was abducted by aliens in Year Two, and recovers at least some of them. (Memento Mori)
• Scully almost kisses Mulder, except it's not Mulder, it's shapeshifter Eddie Van Blundht. (Small Potatoes)
• Skinner makes a deal with the devil (Cancerman) to coverup a crime in exchange for a cure for Scully's cancer. (Zero Sum)
• Skinner is framed for murder and Mulder has to decide whether to trust him. (Zero Sum)
• We get to see Skinner in his underwear! Yummy! (Zero Sum)
• Scully sees an apparition because she's dying. (Elegy)
• Mulder runs off to Rhode Island, is arrested for murder, spends a night in jail in a bright orange jumpsuit, and is rescued by Scully. (Demons)
• Mulder commits suicide....maybe. (Gethsemane)

Year Five

This is the year....

• Mulder appears to be dead. (Redux)
• Scully lies to the police, to Skinner, and to the FBI about Mulder's "death," and then collapses into Skinner's arms. Her cancer has metastasized so she's hospitalized and expected to die. But Mulder is a live afterall!. (Redux)
• We meet Bill Scully who tells Mulder he's "one sorry son-of-a-bitch." (Redux2)
• Mulder finds a replacement chip for Scully to put back in her neck. Her cancer goes into remission. (Redux2)
• Cancerman is killed. Well, not really, but at least we don't have to put up with him for the rest of the season. (Redux2)
• Scully sings "Joy to the World" to an injured Mulder while cradling him in her lap overnight in the Florida wilderness. (Detour)
• Scully and Mulder dance at a Cher concert. (Post-modern Prometheus)
• Scully discovers she has a daughter she didn't actually give birth to, who then dies and her body disappears. (Christmas Carol)
• We meet Cancerman's wife and Scully is nearly burned alive. (Patient X)
• Scully has visions of her dead daughter. (All Souls)
• Mulder goes undercover. (The Pine Bluff Variant)
• Mulder goes mental. (Folie a Deux)
• We meet another one of Mulder's former chickadees, Agent Diana Fowley; Scully doesn't trust her, and the green-eyed monster rears its head. (The End)
• The X-Files office is burned to a crisp. (The End)

The Movie

This is when....

• Cancerman is alive again, unfortunately.
• Mulder almost kisses Scully in the hallway.
• Scully is abducted again and used as an incubator for an alien.
• Mulder goes to the Antarctic to rescue Scully. The scriptwriters mistake David Duchovny for Arnold Schwartzenegger.

Year Six

This is the year....

• Mulder and Scully lose the X-Files again. They are removed from Skinner's supervision and assigned to Assistant Director Alvin Kersh. Agents Spender and Fowley are assigned to the X-files. (The Beginning)
• Mulder kisses Scully, except it really isn't her. Scully slugs Mulder with a right hook, but it really isn't her. (Triangle)
• Mulder tells the real Scully he loves her; she says "oh brother" and walks off. (Triangle)
• Scully kisses Skinner in an elevator. Skinner looks mortified. (Triangle)
• Mulder gets a bedroom and a water bed. (Dreamland 2)
• Mulder and Scully spend Christmas Eve together in a haunted house and shoot each other, but not really. (How The Ghosts Stole Christmas)
• After a cow is hurled at Mulder, he and Scully have to share a motel room, but we don't get to see it! (Rain King)
• Victoria Jackson kisses Mulder. Mulder looks mortified. (Rain King)
• Krycek infects Skinner with nannocritters and now owns his ass. (S.R.819)
• Scully gets shot in the gut by another FBI Agent and becomes immortal. Clyde Bruckman was right. (Tithonus)
• We learn Cancerman's name, sort of: "C.G.B. Spender." (Two Fathers)
• Mulder and Scully take a shower together. (One Son)
• Most of the members of the consortium are killed (but not Cancerman, dammit!) (One Son)
• Mulder and Scully get the X-Files back. (One Son)
• Cancerman murders his son, Agent Jeffrey Spender. Except in Year Nine we learn he's not dead. (One Son)
• Mulder's waterbed springs a leak. (Monday)
• "Agent Scully is already in love." (Milagro)
• A psychic surgeon tries to remove Scully's heart. She gets just a little upset about it. (Milagro)
• Mulder and Scully play baseball. (The Unnatural)
• Mulder hears voices. (Biogenesis)

Year Seven

This is the year....

• Mulder goes nuts and can read minds. Scully goes to Africa. (The Sixth Extinction)
• Mulder does his take on The Last Temptation of Christ. (Amor Fati)
• Mulder has brain surgery. So does Cancerman. (Amor Fati)
• Cancerman tells Mulder that he is his father. (Amor Fati)
• Scully saves Mulder's ass again. (Amor Fati)
• Agent Fowley is murdered off camera. She appears to stay dead. (Amor Fati)
• Scully is attacked by a man she knows is dead. Mulder is attacked by several men he knows are dead. (Millenium)
• Mulder kisses Scully on new year's eve, for real this time. She seems less than thrilled. (Millenium)
• Donnie Pfaster escapes from prison and goes after Scully, who he calls "the one that got away." Scully kills him even though she doesn't have to. You go girl! (Orison)
• Mulder's mother commits suicide because she's "dying" from a disease that isnt' fatal. (Sein und Zeit)
• Mulder finds his sister. She's dead. Duh! (Closure)
• Mulder and Scully accidentally appear on "Cops." (X-Cops)
• Scully goes blind, but not really. (Theef)
• Scully runs off with Cancerman. Did he drug her and make her fertile again?? Did he impregnate her?? He loves to be everyone's father, ya know. (En Ami)
• Scully runs into an old flame, tries alternative medicine, realizes some things about her life, and maybe has sex with Mulder. (all things)
• A movie is made about Mulder and Scully who hold hands as they walk off camera. (Hollywood A.D.)
• Mulder almost dies from a lung-full of tobacco beetles. Dr. Scully to the rescue! (Brand X)
• Skinner meets the Gunmen. (Requiem)
• Cancerman is killed, again. Let's hope it's for good this time. (Requiem)
• Mulder is abducted by aliens. He's wearing Scully's cross pendant when he goes. Well, we thought he was, but we know now he wasn't. All those good cross pendant fanfics go to waste. (Requiem)
• Skinner cries. Well, he gets as close to crying as Mitch Pileggi seems capable of pulling off. Give the man a break! He was an accounting major. They never cry.(Requiem)
• Scully--who is supposed to be barren--is pregnant. (Requiem)

Year Eight

This is the year....

• Robert Patrick joins the cast as Special Agent John Doggett and Scully throws a cup of water in his face at their first meeting. (Within)
• Assistant Director Kersh resurfaces, but now he's Deputy Director and Skinner's boss. Oh Dear God! But, at least we finally have a villain who can act. (Within)
• Doggett catches Scully taking a nap on Mulder's bed. (Within)
• Skinner becomes a True Believer and best buds with the Lone Gunmen. (Within)
• Scully finally admits to the existence of extraterrestrials. (Without)
• The Alien Bounty Hunter hits the trifecta: he morphs into Mulder, Scully, and Skinner, all in the same episode. (Without)
• Skinner gets a dose of the green goo. (Without)
• Scully cries in Doggett's arms, hiding her face in her hands, and later we have our first "Doggett-at-Scully's hospital bedside" scene. (Without)
• Local police are disgusted with Scully's far-out, whacko paranormal theories. Ha! (Patience)
• Scully ditches Doggett and goes on a case herself during which she is abducted by a crazy religious cult, and hog-tied to a bed. Doggett rescues Scully and uses his pen knife to cut her back open and remove the "Christ slug." Scully does some serious screaming. Lots of fans overreact. (Road Runner)
• Our first Mulder-less, Skinner-less, Gunman-less, Scully-lite, Doggett-lite episode! Who won't be on the show next? (Redrum)
• Scully cries in Doggett's presence because she can't "see through Mulder's eyes." (Badlaa)
• Doggett dies and is reborn. Or should that be regurgitated? (The Gift)
• We learn that last year Mulder donated sperm to try to get Scully pregnant by in vitro fertilization. Supposedly it didn't work. (Per Manum)
• Skinner comforts Scully and Skinnerists all over the world swoon! (This is Not Happening)
• We learn that Agent Doggett's son was abducted and found dead once upon a time, and that Agent Reyes investigated the case. (This is Not Happening)
• Mulder is found dead, is buried, dug up three months later, and found to be alive. What do we have to do to get rid of this guy?! (This is Not Happening & Dead Alive)
• Scully snuggles with Skinner at Mulder's graveside. (Deadalive)
• The Lone Gunmen get and lose their own series. (The Lone Gunmen series)
• Scully has a "partial abruption" which in real life probably would have resulted in an immediate caesarian section but which through typical X-Files magic just means a couple days bed rest and being sent home. (Empedocles)
• Mulder gets fired from the FBI. (Vienen)
• The X-Files honors fandom by naming a character after the late Leyla Harrison, a recently deceased well-known fanfic writer. (Alone)
• Skinner murders Krycek. (Existence)
• Scully has her baby and names him William after Mulder's father (not to mention her own father and brother; what is it with CC and the name William?) (Existence)
• Scully & Mulder engage in liplock, leaving us to believe that Mulder is the baby's father. (Existence)

Year Nine

This is the year...

• Mulder abandons Scully and their son. (Nothing Important Happened Today)
• Mitch Pileggi finally gets costar billing and then almost completely disappears from the show. (Nothing Important Happened Today)
• Annabeth Gish joins the cast full-time. (Nothing Important Happened Today)
• Scully's baby has telekinetic powers. (Nothing Important Happened Today)
• Agent Reyes finds out about her past life. (Hellbound)
• Agent Reyes really begins to shine as Mulder's spooky replacement. (All the episodes.)
• Agent Doggett dies again. But doesn't really. (4D)
• Agent Reyes reveals her feelings for Doggett. (4D)
• Agent Reyes dies, but doesn't really. (4D)
• We learn Reyes was raised in Mexico and speaks Spanish. She says she was born there too, but that contradicts the official site. (John Doe)
• Doggett seems to accept that a man could steal his memories. (John Doe)
• Scully & Mulder exchange icky, gushy love emails. Scully sends for Mulder. We learn that some sort of ore can kill the supersoldiers. (Trust No One)
• We get to see Doggett in an NYPD uniform. Oddly enough, he doesn't look any younger. (Underneath)
• A.D. Follmer replaces Kersh as the XF character I'd most like to smack repeatedly. (Every episode Follmer is in.)
• CC proves once and for all that he knows nothing about the organizational chart of the FBI or the nation's geography.
• A crazy religious cult kidnaps William. (Provenance & Providence)
• Reyes is in a coma from a car accident. Doggett is beside himself with grief. The "L" word is used. (Audrey Pauley)
• Burt Reynolds appears in a forgettable episode. (Improbable)
• The Lone Gunmen sacrifice their lives unnecessarily to save thousands of people from a terrorist attack. CC puts an end to fan attempts to bring back their show. (Jump the Shark)
• Jeffrey Spender is still alive and horribly disfigured. (William)
• Scully incomprehensibly gives William up for Adoption. (William)
• Doggett finds out what happened to his son. (Release)
• Robert Patrick's wife appears as John Doggett's ex-wife. (John Doe & Release)
• We get some serious Doggett/Reyes hugging that almost certainly leads to the resolution of of the UST between them. (Release)
• AD Follmer turns out to be on the Mafia payroll. Somehow he doesn't know the Mafia kills people and when he finds out he freaks and murders the Mafioso who was paying him. What kind of AD doesn't know the Mafia kills people? I wanna see Follmer in an orange jumpsuit. (Release)
• CC tells the fans to turn off their TVs and get a life. (Sunshine Days)
• Skinner gets levitated. It was nice to see him though. Let's see...that's 45 seconds of screen time in the last half of the season. Mitch Pileggi is taking this house husband thing entirely too seriously. (Sunshine Days)
• Doggett & Reyes hold hands in public, circumstantial evidence that they resolved their UST since the previous episode! (Sunshine Days)
• CC proves that he knows even less about the legal system, the Marines, and the Military than he knows about the FBI, D.C., and the nation's geography. (The Truth)
• CC illustrates again (The movie being the other time) that he's obsessed with toilet humor.
• Mulder not only sees and talks to ghosts (Krycek, X, LGM), he is handed a piece of paper with vital information on it from one of them. (The Truth)
• AD Skinner practices law without a license. (The Truth)
• Mulder is "convicted" of murder by a "military tribunal" in which the "judges" are all FBI personnel out to get him, and all the evidence against him is inadmissible hearsay, and all evidence that the victim is not really dead is not admitted. Needless to say, he's sentenced to death. (The Truth)
• Skinner, Reyes, Doggett, and Kersh (yes, I said Kersh!) all become felons by helping Mulder escape from jail. How these middle-aged men managed to break into a Marine brig and get Mulder out undetected is beyond me. (The Truth)
• We learn the big secret: aliens are going to invade! Oh wait, didn't we know that already? (The Truth)
• We get lots of kissing and snuggling by Mulder & Scully. Skinner looks embarassed. (The Truth)
• Cancerman is still alive but gets blown to bits. Let's hope to hell that's the last of him
• Millions of fans fall asleep during the series finale. (The Truth)

The Nutshell will be on hiatus until the next XF movie! Don't hold your breath.